Dating Individuality

When I tell guys I wrote a book called AlphaDog, Get The Bitch You Want, some guys have questions that they ask me. The difficult part is that for every similar question there is about how to get the girl, there are innumerable answers. Unless there's time to sit with each person, learn about his situation, learn something about his object of interest, and provide useful information or suggestions, there's no way to really help. I guess that's why pickup tactics are popular. They can be quick solutions to somewhat superficial problems.

It seems like more and more people just want to have meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Getting laid seems less important. Since people know that superficiality is disastrous for deep relationships, going beyond the pickup is the knowledge they seek.

Without getting philosophical, the answers are deep within us. We know deep down what's right and wrong. The problem, however, is that sometimes we fail to step back and look at ourselves to see what other people see. That's what pride does--keeps us from seeing our true selves. Stepping back is the beginning of getting to the answers we want in our search for love. It takes us from the question, "What am I missing," to "What do I see in myself," to "How can I change that," to discovering the answers.

That's not to say that guys need to change. Everyone needs to change. I need to change. Women need to change, too. The issue is that when our lives are not where we want them to be, we might be missing valuable lessons on personal growth. The truth is, we can never stop growing as human beings. Hokey as it sounds, that's how life is. Accept it.

The question I like to ask guys is this: "How well do you know yourself?" It can be a difficult question to answer. Answering, "Well enough," is not a qualified response. But if a person can laugh about himself and respond candidly, in my opinion, he's better off than a suave pickup artist with shallow relationships.

Everyone is different. Everyone's perfect match is also different. Therefore, there are no easy answers to finding love. It's a journey. Think of it as adventure.